What is the first thing people think of when they hear this? 50 Shades of Grey? Chained? Whipped? Spanked? Handcuffed? Well yes, but there is more to it.
Let me first start off with saying what BDSM is! It's actually a few things in one!
B/D is Bondage and Discipline
D/S is Dominance and Submission
S/M is Sadism and Masochism
Now you don't have to like all of it, you can like/love, be interested in just one.
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be blindfolded, tied up, being spanked, being disciplined? Well here is where you can try and possibly enjoy it. Bondage is the use of restraints to enhance pleasure while Discipline gives the rules, punishment to control or be rewarded. Now people can take it to a sexual level or keep it as mild and playful as foreplay. It's also used as a gateway to deep emotional experiences, and or self discovery. You can try anything and everything from the softest thing being blindfolded to being tied up to an x.
D&S Dominance and Submission
When you had those thoughts about being blindfolded, tied up, spanked, and disciplined: did you ever think about someone being in control of your body, mind and soul. Being a Submissive is a role you want to be put in! You claim nothing, you are the one claimed! You live to serve you Dominant, the one you love to serve. Now D/S relationship don't have to include intercourse they sometimes don't ever meet! What I mean by this is that they can have a D/S relationship over the phone, by email, text, video chatting, person to person, through anything by anything. When you are physical you can also use B/D. When being a Sub and you are a virgin (meaning that you are new to the Dom and Submissive scene) it's better to get a Dom who has more experience. Because than they can teach you everything they know! They can also go through what you like and dislike, what your willing to try, what you don't want to try at all. You don't have to stick to one Dom, you can play around until you find the right one! Now a beginer Dom is different you could study how to be one by yourself, or you can be an apprentice and be taught everything an experienced Dominant. If you are with a beginer Dom or a virgin Sub or both, you will learn what the other can stand, loves, hates etc.
S&M Sadism and Masochism
Out of all Three S&M is the most physical. S&M is whips, chains, spanking, biting, bruises, welts, and some take it to the point of bleeding. Now to some people might be worried and thinking that it all leads to bleeding or that it hurts! Well it does hurt but Sadists and
Masochists say pain is pleasure! And not all do it to the point of blood, just some you have to have the taste for it. Now each one of these leads into the other, but doesn't have to be you could just love bondage and discipline, or love being dominated or dominating, or just like a little hair pulling and getting bit. It can be part of your role playing, or something you do cause you like/love it. Back to S&M the rough sex, the rough foreplay can be to much for some. When i said you have to have the taste for it I meant you have to have the interest in giving or receiving the pain. Some of the stuff that can be done and used is nipple torture (nipple clamps, pinching are a couple). Penis and ball torture, vagina torture, you can do anything with that squeeze, clamp, step on etc. Paddling is a form of spanking but with a paddle, spanking, slapping. Whipping you can use anything to whip someone, you can use an actual whip, a wire, even a wire hanger. I know sounds painful but with the right person doing it and taking care of you feels maybe almost better than sex. Well ok it's a great way to lead into having extraordinary sex! I'm going to share two of my favorite forms of Pleasure! Biting I love biting and being bit in the right spot with the right pressure behind it can just leave you feel weak, intoxicated, mesmerized and on top of that wanting more! The other is Hot Wax, yes i said it Hot Wax. As it hits your skin its hot of course but it doesn't stay hot! It actually goes from hot to soothing. So like biting if you pour it on the right spots it will send you through a trance. With these forms of torture they all can leave you to want nothing but MORE!
What i enjoy about BDSM is that you can be just into one or all! On top of that you can enjoy everything not just plain sex. You can add your own flavor to it, change things up, you dont have to do just like i said simple sex. Its individuality, it's a relationship outside of a real relationship, or a relationship inside a relationship, it's you and your partner! What i mean about a relationship outside a relationship is that you can have your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend etc. But you can also have your Dom/Sub outside of that. Which should be talked to with your partner or even try it with your partner. But if someone doesn't like what is done to them or they can not fulfill the role of making you sub or torturing you than I'm sorry you need your needs met too. Trust me I'm a people pleaser and i love it, but i need my needs met as well.
This symbol represents BDSM as a whole B&D, D&S,and S&M! The three divisions also represents the behavior Safe, Sane and Consensual. As well as our community Tops, Bottoms, and switches. The holes represent the incompleteness of any individual that in the BDSM community. The curved lines is where one ends and the other begins. But all in all it represents UNITY!
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